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Guest Blog

An introduction to Every Man

Thu, August 09, 2012

EDITOR’S NOTE: We will allow occasional anonymous posts as part of this feature. But not very often. This writer needs to remain nameless for legal reasons.

By EVERY MAN

Hello all HO.com readers! This might be the hardest introduction I have ever done. You see- I am (from time to time) going to be a guest blogger here as long as Mr. Lampe says so. I am going to go by the pen name “Every Man.” That is in no way a slight to the stronger of the two sexes (women) by any means. I just could not say “I’m Every Man and I’m Every Woman” without breaking into a Whitney Houston karaoke song.

So why would you read something by me? GREAT question! Short answer, I have no idea. You see, as I look at the talent on staff at HO.com, I notice there are tacticians who know exactly what tools of the trade should be used on the water or in the field, phenomenal chefs who I curse almost weekly for posting such delicacies well before the lunch hour, writers with excellent depth of the conservation regulations and keep us informed on bills that might affect our enjoyment of the outdoors. There are certainly excellent photographers, story tellers, and those with gifts and talents far beyond my scope. They share family, friends and tips every week. I am truly amazed at the talent assembled on the HO.com staff. (That might be until now.)

My terminology is pretty basic. I say why make things hard. When asked what the water temperature was on a recent afternoon of fishing, I responded “Do you mean like cold, warm or hot? I’d have to say cold.” When I fish I use my pole. When I hunt I use my bow or my gun. Sure I know their brand names but as I said, I consider myself Every Man.

When I hunt, I don’t have a cool signature face paint pattern. And other than some talking head on an outdoor network I have never had a buddy say “Yeah I got that swamp donkey with my Mathews Z7 Extreme, and my Gold Tips were all decked out with The Rage in the cage. Good thing I had my Bushnell rangefinder with ARC technology so I could get all dialed in at 40 yards with my Bone Collector sight and Whisker Biscuit arrow rest.” That is just not me, and I doubt it is many of you.

I have three teenagers so I have thick skin and a thin wallet. They contribute heavily to the Salt vs. Pepper war being waged on my head. And right now there is no doubt, Salt is winning! I have been blessed that they pretty outdoorsy as well. There is nothing more pleasurable than watching them experience something new in the outdoors. (Yes- I did let them know about how “cool” it is when kids drag their Dad’s deer up the ravine and out to the trail. That really was awesome! wink )

But for all my sarcasm, I do have to say that at the end of a day in the blind, field or woods that simply sitting around a campfire with them makes me thankful, humbled and reflective. 

I have pretty good sense of humor. Something along the line of Steven Wright meets Steven Wright. I am pretty self-aware and am comfortable talking about my failures in the outdoors. And evidently, that is ok here at HO.com. Good thing, because there are plenty.

This spring, I ventured into the woods looking for the fast, ever elusive morel mushroom. I must have been pushing them deep into the timber because I always seemed to be just a moment behind where they surely must have been. However, I am a realist and for me mushroom hunting is really just a way of testing my tick collecting skills. So far I am becoming quite good at it with five this past weekend.

However, nothing will compare to The Great Tick Refugee Escape of ’08. In one single trip, I was able to “rescue” from the dangers of the lush, green woods nine of the toothiest blood-suckers around. They found transport on my head, my neck and yes even my waistline. Wow, that sure was a fun evening.

I am eternally grateful that no one walked into the cabin that day. I still struggle with what I could have possibly said to describe both my pretzel-like pose and the totally nonsensical stream of expletives and groans!

So here I am in a nutshell. I consider myself pretty average at most things outdoors. Not good or great in any particular area but active in all. I have a passion for listening, observing and reflecting on the simple things we absorb from the outdoors. If Superman has a big S on his chest than I guess I would have a simple lowercase E for “Every Man” on my plain t-shirt.

I look forward to occasionally dropping in with a story, a question or maybe a challenge. Who knows where this could lead? Didn’t Samuel Clemens do OK using a pen name?  Hmmm…

Make it a great day!

E.M.

(10) COMMENTS

Your chance to blog is here

Thu, August 09, 2012

On a fairly regular basis, we at Heartland Outdoors receive cool stories and pictures from you, our faithful readers.

For a variety of dumb reasons, those stories sometimes do not see the light of day.

In an effort to get more of your fine words and pictures on the Web, we are creating a Guest Blog. This is your space to do with as you wish. Eventually, we may create a more formal submission form that will automatically post your words and pictures (after review by an editor, of course).

But for now, just email your blogs to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and let Jeff deal with it.

We can’t promise we will print every word or picture you send. And we will edit for grammar, spelling and clarity (to the best of our abilities).

Thanks. We look forward to adding more reader input into Heartland Outdoors.

(6) COMMENTS

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